Saturday, October 04, 2008

My Baby (And my rambling thoughts at 1am)

Tomorrow (well technically today) is Kaci's birthday. I still see her as "My Baby." I know that Sara is an infant, but Kaci still hasn't grown up in my mind. I still think of her as a baby, needing me every step of the way.

It catches me off guard when I realize that she is not so little anymore. Shanna seemed so grown up when she was turning 4. With Kaci, I just wish time could move slower. She is growing so fast, from her feet looking foreign and big, to her intelligent mind. (Ask her how to spell YELLOW or what her phone number is.) I think I blinked too long and now she is a little girl.

She is such a joy... she is happy and funny and sweet. She is also a mystery card. You never know when she's going to throw a kink in the day. I am terrified to take her to a restaurant because she has this thing that if she puts too much food in her mouth, she chokes and throws up. Yeah, not so much fun in public. Also this week, I found that she has a PHOBIA of firefighters. (Not just like "oooh... they're scary." Her face turned pale and she got shaky when I told her they were coming to her school.) Yet at the end of the day, her sweet kiss makes everything happy, and her sweet snuggles in the morning make my day start great.

I have been getting ready for her Tinkerbell party tonight... the presents are wrapped (thanks to Daddy) her room is decorated (thanks to Daddy) her cupcakes are made and the party activities are ready to go.

I'll tell you about her cupcakes if you won't get mad at me for making you fat. I'm serious. White Chocolate... Cream Cheese (2 packages) ........ (Do you feel your hips getting wider??) Well, just wait a minute... and a CUP of BUTTER.

I had a little taste. I have been so good working out and eating healthy, but this recipe sparked my interest. Cream cheese and chocolate... yum.

I do have a safeguard in place for not eating too much... I put it on cupcakes. (I know, it is weird, but I don't like cake) AND I made the frosting PINK. Food coloring weirds me out. I think this is due to "Green Eggs and Ham Day" as a kid. Scrambled Eggs should not be green.

Here's another confession: I get tears in my eyes when we sing Happy Birthday to my kids. I feel like their whole life flashes in front of me, from the moment I found out I was pregnant, to the first time I heard their cry, to their first steps, to their first day of school... Their birthdays are special and exciting to them, but they are also a defining moment in my life.

Tonight, I am remembering 4 years ago, the sleepless night before I had Kaci. Knowing that at 5:30 am I had to check into the hospital and that I would soon meet this new person growing inside of me. Tomorrow I will remember Kaci's first cry and how emotional it was for me. I will remember the amazing bond of sisterhood that I saw when Shanna fed her from a tube attached to her finger. I will also remember the look in Tyler's eyes when he held Kaci for the first time. He is such an amazing Daddy and I love the unique bond that he shares with each of our girls and how it has been special and unique from the first time he held them.

So, Happy Birthday to my special daughter. Congratulations to Tyler and me for the last 4 years of raising this mysterious gift... Thank you to Shanna for helping so much and being so patient with her sister and also with us....

Kaci, I hope that today will be special and happy and fun. You are so sweet and spunky and adorable! Love, Mommy


Unknown said...

We love you Kaci!! Happy Birthday big girl!!!

The Stratton's

Haylee LOVED your Tinkerbell party:)

Chady said...

Happy Birthday Kaci! You are the greatest writer Jenny, I love to read your stories! :)