Sunday, August 17, 2008

Confessions of a "Seasoned Mom"

Kaci will start preschool tomorrow, the beginning of her school journey.

I have been there before with Shanna. (Has it really been 5 years?)

I was telling Robyn the other day that I feel like a "Seasoned Mom" this time around. I have learned from my experiences with Shanna and feel like I have a little bit of insider knowledge for Kaci.

I remember how nervous I was when Shanna was starting school. Being my first baby, she was still an extension of me. Saying I had a hard time letting go would be a big understatement.

One time Shanna bit another little girl, and I felt anguish and guilt like I had been the one doing the biting!

I was so worried about what I hadn't taught her... would she remember how to write her name, would she be nice to the other kids, respectful to her teacher, etc. I would be mortified if she had a potty accident or if I didn't remember that it was Silly Sock Day and she only wore white socks!

Guess what? I am now "seasoned" because of her. The poor kid did have a potty accident, wore NO socks at all on Silly Sock Day, struggled through friend problems and learned to follow the rules of her teacher.

Both of us must have done some things right because she is a happy, smart 8 year old who does well in school and has lots of friends.

BUT...

Is it wrong for a Seasoned Mom to get a tear in her eye thinking about dropping her baby off at the door to school in the morning?

Should I feel guilty for thinking about teaching her a phrase in French like "May I please be excused to the bathroom" to totally impress the teacher? (No, I didn't really..)

Am I worried she'll have a potty accident and be embarrassed? Yes.

Do I worry about her having problems fitting in, even though kids make friends with everyone in their class by the end of the year? Yes.

If I packed an extra snack for her to share to make a new friend, would that be bad?

I think that even though this Seasoned Mom knows that I love my child more than anyone else could, I still want everyone to like her.

As a Seasoned Mom, I know the day will soon come when she comes home with a tear stained face and says that someone was mean to her.

I know that there will be teachers who won't understand her like I do. I know there will be homework assignments that neither one of us wants to do.

I have learned that if she writes every letter and number backwards, some day she'll figure out which way is right.

If she goes potty in her pants, no one will remember by the next time she goes to school.

Wearing no socks on Silly Sock Day can really be silly.... And that won't be the last time I forget something. We'll both learn how to deal with it.

The girl who made her cry one day will be her best friend the next.

I know that her hair doesn't have to be perfect, and if her clothes have a few wrinkles in them, no one is going to think that I'm a horrible mother. (But, I'll do her hair cute and iron her clothes anyways.)

I know all of this in my head, and I think I will know the answers when problems arise, but in my heart, my baby is growing up and has reached her first major milestone to spreading her wings and flying away.

I also know this will happen all over again when Sara starts school. Yikes. I think I shoud buy some stock in Kleenex.

1 comment:

dandjyoung said...

You are such a talented, beautiful writer. I love to read your blog and maybe it's because I feel like you can read my mind. Hope you have a great day!