Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Another day, another trip to the hospital

Well, the trip to the doctor this morning was not encouraging. My blood pressure was still high. They sent me over to the hospital to be monitored laying down. (This is all deja vu from before I had Shanna.) My blood pressure went down right away, and I stayed for only a few hours. Now, I am supposed to be on limited bed rest until next week.

So, first of all, I am thrilled I didn't end up with a c-section today. I am so excited to have her here, but I just don't feel ready. I have everything "ready", but am overwhelmed too. My house is a mess and I really don't feel at peace just leaving it all for a few days of staying in the hospital. Tyler and I both have colds, and I really REALLY want everyone healthy for when she is born.

I was so anxious and ready for the other two births. Why do I feel this way? One week from now she'll be here. Will I be ready then? I think once my mom and Tyler's parents come I will feel a little more at ease. There is a lot of pressure to keep the girls happy and busy and the house standing with how busy and stressed Tyler is. I am sure that both of us having colds and not sleeping doesn't help either.

On the other hand, just thinking of holding my newest daughter one week from today brings a smile to my face and makes me feel guilty for admitting that I'm not anxious and ready.

Am I just worn out, stressed and tired? Or can this be blamed on hormones?

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